


The Life and Times of an Alien

by kittytbh



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alien Harry, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:28:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7616320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittytbh/pseuds/kittytbh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Where you from then, Harry? Your accent is kinda funny. You talk real formal-like. Not anythin’ I’ve ever heard in real life.” Louis hops up onto the kitchen island and leaves his legs slightly spread. Harry can’t bear to lie to this amazing creature so he forces himself to maintain steady eye contact as he blurts, “I’m from out of this world.” Louis waits a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles, dainty paw covering his sharp little teeth.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or the one where Harry’s an alien and thinks Louis is the leader of his kind. Louis just thinks Harry’s cute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Life and Times of an Alien

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sort-of continuation of a ton of anon messages that I sent to sebastian ([nsfwtomlinson](http://nsfwtomlinson.tumblr.com/))
> 
> title taken from an album by The Garden called “The Life and Times of a Paperclip”

“ _Now landing in Lumpkin, Georgia. Surface area is 1.6 square miles. Population is 1,096. 5 areas of worship and one gasoline station._ ” Harry’s index chimes in as he lands his spacecraft in a patch of grass next to a so called “church”. He taps his long bony fingers against the control panel and contemplates his next move. He doesn’t want to intrude on this town without notice, that would be rude. He should find the leader and ask for a blessing to stay.

 

Harry hops down from his ship and dusts off his pants (he’s proud of his Sneeblies, they match well with his favorite Rugflob shirt and trusty Pexdot boots). He wanders a bit, aimlessly, and finds people staring at him, almost to the point of his discomfort. Harry grumpily hides behind a large smelly box and turns on his invisibility. Whatever, if they can’t appreciate his sparkling chrome outfit then they shouldn’t be able to see him in the first place.

 

He takes out his index and presses a few buttons and the little device chimes “ _Earth time is June 17th, 2014; 11:15 AM._ ” Huh, he could’ve sworn he was on Mercury. Harry pulls up the map function and squints into the little compass rose. “Oh, East! I thought it said Weast. I-I mean West.” He blinks, surprised the increased oxygen is already getting to his head.

 

He punches in a few numbers as he walks down the road, stopping by a window to peer in and look at some of the townsfolk. Most of them are watching a large screen as random things flash over it. Harry is almost appalled at the sheer amount of nudity, swearing, and vain ads shown on the screen. He huffs, finally pressing enter on his estimated coordinates.

 

* * *

 

 

The alien looks around at the stark white room he transported himself into, noticing rows and rows of small humans. He coos. Harry looks down at a freshly grown human and sighs, eyes droopy and happy as the weird little thing kicks in it's sleep. His index chimes in to tell him he’s in a “hospital”. He sighs once again and punches in a few more codes, pressing enter and suddenly finding himself in a “bedroom”.

 

Harry is caught off guard with how brightly colored it is. There’s a collage of photos on the far right wall with one girl making a constant appearance. Several notes pinned to the cork board start with “Dear Lottie!”, he assumes it’s her bedroom, but he sees no one and senses no movement. The alien starts snooping immediately and finds a “People Magazine”. He flips through it some to learn more about their culture. He makes up his mind about one thing. Humans value beauty over almost everything else. It only makes sense, there are doctored photos and tips for a “better ____” plastered all over it. He nods to himself and punches in another code, hoping to find someone who can help him.

 

When Harry finally sees him, he almost runs into an inconveniently placed pole in the middle of the sidewalk. He gulps, watching the human cover his mouth demurely as his tinkling laughter escapes him. Harry is awestruck, watching the boy’s every move as he gracefully brings a fellow human to his metaphorical knees (he learned that phrase from People, he’s proudly retaining information about slang to report back to his mother when he goes home).

 

Harry blindly crosses the empty road and stands as close to the human as possible, invisibility still on. The boy has amazing baby blue eyes and soft long lashes to frame them. His eyebrows arch up beautifully and his mouth curls up in the sweetest smiles. His accent is nearly identical to all the others in the town but somehow, when it comes from his mouth, it sounds heavenly. “My, Mrs. Dalia, you sure know how to make a young man blush!” Harry notices then the pink spread over his cheeks, freckles standing out against it in the June sun. He nearly keels over.

 

“Well,” Mrs. Dalia smiles. “I’ll be seeing you at the barbecue tonight, won’t I? Good! I’m bringing that coleslaw you love so much!” Harry watches as the older human wanders away, startled when the beautiful one scoffs. “I hate her goddamn cole slaw. Ain’t no one like coleslaw, don’t she know that? Bless her heart..” he puts his hand delicately on his left pec and sighs. Harry wants to follow this being to the ends of the universe.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry does end up following the human through the rest of the day. He learns the boy is named Louis, he has everyone in his little town wrapped around his little fingers, and that he’s damn good at lying to people.

 

Louis’ first lie, obviously, was the coleslaw thing but the next one threw Harry for a loop. They were in a general store, sticky June heat trying to fight its way in through the front doors as Louis picked a drink out of the little fridge marked “Coke”. Harry watched as Louis talked to a boy who was around the same Earth age as him, “Lucas, I’m not gonna tell anyone about the fun we had in the bed of your truck. I’d never do somethin’ so malicious! My daddy taught me to be respectful, don’t you trust me?” Harry had the urge to hold his favorite creature when he brought out his sad little droopy eyes, lashes fluttering and bottom lip pouting out.

 

The other boy swallowed hard, “‘course I trust you, Louis. I just don’t want my dad to say nothin’ if he finds out. He might take away my F 350 and I _just_ got it raised.” Louis nodded as he gave Lucas a sympathetic look, brushing his little thumb against the boy’s chin. “Don’t you worry, Lucas, I won’t say nothin’ to your daddy or your mama or big brother, alright? It’s just between us.” He winks and walks to the counter, leaving a dazed boy and a besotted alien behind.

 

Harry snaps out of it and all but sprints to the front of the store, suddenly yearning to sync glow cycles with someone as he devours the sight of Louis bent over the counter, whispering to a blonde running the till. “...He was so scared, Lottie, I thought the poor boy was gonna pass out right there in front of me, bless his heart.” Harry watches the two laugh together, the sounds scarily similar. He looks closer and recognizes the girl as the owner of the brightly colored nightmare of a bedroom. “Besides, he wasn’t all that great. He drives an F 350. You know that ugly one with the six wheels? When Mama told me boys with big trucks are overcompensatin’ she wasn’t lyin’.”

 

The two startle when a bell chimes to signal someone walking into the store. Louis clears his throat and giggles, “I better get home, Lottie, Mama wants me to make some peach cobbler with her for the barbecue. I’ll see you in a few hours.” He pushes off the counter and takes his drink with him, pausing to greet another man. “Well hello Mr. Roland! Hope to see you at the barbecue tonight! Heard Mrs. Dalia is bringing that lovely coleslaw of hers!” The older man smiles, tips of his ears glowing red. Harry frowns, tipping the box of unstocked boxes of mac and cheese over and scaring him. Harry smugly follows after his favorite creature.

 

* * *

 

 

The alien marvels at the rest of the home he previously missed out on. There are photos everywhere, embroidered pillows litter the furniture, two sets of twins sit quietly and play together as Louis helps his mother bake in the kitchen. The mother reminds Harry fondly of his own and makes a note to contact her tonight when everyone is asleep, he misses her voice. Harry sighs and watches Louis putter around the kitchen in sync with his mother, smiling when they gossip about anything and everything. Louis even tells his mother of the encounter at the general store with Lucas and that sends his mother into a fit of laughter.

 

Louis’ father comes in a few minutes later in his black short sleeved clergy shirt, white band slipping from it as he toes his shoes off at the door. “Louis, my little nebula, how was your day?” He gives Louis an affectionate pat on the shoulder, leaning over to give his wife a kiss on the forehead. Louis smiles and giggles, “I ran into Lucas and he damn near made a mess for Lottie to clean in isle 4.” Louis’ father lets out a hoarse laugh, hand over his heart.

 

“That poor boy, should’ve known better than to get involved with a Tomlinson. We’re not too good with secrets, eh?” Mr. Tomlinson winks and laughs his way out of the kitchen, on his way to greet his younger children and Harry is stuck with a smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

Harry doesn’t know what a barbecue is but he does know Louis plays up his innocent act even _more_ in front of such a large crowd. He watches Louis mouth along to “My Girl” as he carries platters full of cookies and pre-cut slices of pie. Harry isn’t the only one watching, though, as he notices some other people blatantly staring. Louis is stopped constantly to share some little conversational tidbits and Harry suddenly has an idea.

  
He abandons the barbecue for a few minutes to get back to his ship, searching through his databases for clothes he could wear to fit in. Harry chooses the most unsuspecting outfit he can find; a white shirt, blue jeans, and brown boots. His hair is a little unusual for these parts but that cannot be so easily fixed so he doesn’t bother. He transports down the block from Louis’ house and pushes his way into the yard, not expecting everyone to go dead silent. Well, shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading~  
> [Find me on Tumblr!](http://pentacle.tumblr.com/)


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